Stink took one lick. Then another. Then another. The giant jawbreaker was way too big to fit into his mouth.

Slurp. He licked that jawbreaker all the way home.

Sloop. He licked it all the way up to his room.

Slop. He licked it while he fed Toady one-handed. He licked it while he played with his president baseball cards (including James Madison, thanks to Judy). He licked it while he did his homework one-handed. He licked it the whole time he talked to Grandma Lou on the phone, telling her all about the Pajama Day they were going to have in Mrs.  D's class.

He even licked it while he set the table for dinner. One-handed, of course.

Pretty soon his lips were green and his tongue was blue and his hands were as sticky as gum on a sneaker bottom.

"Hey," Judy asked at dinner. "Why is there a big fat sticky blue fingerprint on my plate?"

"Oops," said Stink, licking off his fingers. "Finger-lickin' good!"

"Stink's eating a jawbreaker for dinner!" said Judy, pointing.

"Stink, put that jawbreaker down and eat some real food," said Dad. "Here. Have some macaroni."

"This is real food," said Stink. "It contains vitamins A and C and calcium. No lie."

"And dextrose, sucrose, fructose, and other stuff that makes you comatose," said Judy.

"It's NOT going to make me comb my toes," said Stink.

"And don't forget wax," said Judy.

"Macaroni," said Mom. "You heard Dad. And green beans."

"But it didn't break my jaw yet," said Stink. "It didn't even stretch my mouth one bit."

"You already have a big mouth," said Judy.

"Hardee-har-har," said Stink. "Well, it didn't set my tongue on fire yet or make my cheeks feel like a chipmunk, either."

"It may not break your jaw," said Judy, "but all your teeth are going to fall out. For sure and absolute positive. Did you know Queen Elizabeth ate so many candies from her pockets that her teeth turned black? No lie!"

"At least I won't have to brush them every day!" said Stink.